(This is entirely hypothetical.) “Where did it go? I just had it!” I asked the question but expected and got no answer. The music was entirely too loud at the show. If I dropped it, then it was done for. I sighed and looked up at the brisk star filled sky. “Why! Why can’t I just keep one chillum pipe! Why!”
I felt the outside of my jean jacket breast pocket for the familiar feel of the thin hard backup one hitter glass pipe I stored there before we left for the show. My girlfriends all swayed to the music around me while I fumbled for the small metal weed grinder I kept in my bag. Score! It was already filled with my ground up medicine from before we left for the show. Good thing I brushed up on how to clean a one hitter before we left
Deftly, I loaded the one hitter down near my waist. I figured nobody would notice since it was dark and there were so many people there. Cleaning a one hitter is essential or they get clogged quickly, so proper maintenance is a must. Fortunately, my being a smoking pipe veteran, I had made sure my chillums were sparkling clean before we left. Sparkling may be a stretch, but they were definitely smokable.
I just hoped nobody bumped into me while I was busy packing the one hitter. Suddenly I got this feeling from my left that I was being watched. I tensed a little and tried to slyly take a look. I missed being sly by about a million miles. I found a smiling thickly bearded face next to me. I always have this deer in the headlights moment when smoking becomes social. I have my circle of friends I am comfortable with, but when smoking a glass chillum in public or at a party, the likelihood that a stranger will want to become friendly is inevitable.
I gave him a half hearted grin back hoping that was enough. He took a step closer and held out his vaporizer. I like vape pens but I am a much bigger fan of classic glass pipes. Vape pens take a lot of the fun out of smoking. I sort of leaned in towards him and said no thanks. But, once I finished packing the one hitter, I offered it to him which he accepted.
Guys introducing themselves to us girls is supposed to be a mystery. It’s supposed to be difficult. But us mj fans have made it too easy. Anybody can walk up to us during a smoke session and ask if they can join in. We always feel obligated to let them into the smoke circle creating an entirely too easy route for segueing into a conversation.
This was going to be a little more difficult for him because he would have to talk over the music. However, instead of talking to me, this guy handed back my chillum after taking a solid three rips, said thanks and walked back to his group of buddies. I actually felt slighted. Just smoke and run, huh? At least he knew how to use a one hitter and gave it back clean.
I repacked my chillum with a sense of agitation. I felt taken advantage of. In fact, I spent the rest of the concert just irritated. Not how I imagined this show or my Friday night going. As everyone began to file out, somebody bumped into me. It was the same dude again. “Hey, thanks for smoking me out back there,” he said.
I eyed him for a moment before saying in a still irritated voice, “Yeah, no problem.”
“Sorry I just took off, but I figured there was no way you would have heard me over the music anyways.”
Well that made sense, I thought. Then he held his hand out to me. In his palm was my favorite black and yellow silicone chillum smoking pipe that I thought I had lost forever during the show. “Where did you get that?”
“I saw it in the grass back there when we were leaving right around where you had been standing. Figured it must have been yours. I’ve never met such an organized smoker in my life.” He said with a smile.
I glared at him and took my smoking pipe back again. “My name is Phil,” he said. Oh boy, I thought.
You have got to learn how to clean your one hitter, or it will get clogged easily and won't work during your next smoke session.